Sitting in meditation, the instruction is to focus on one's natural breathing rhythms. When thoughts arise (and they will) the instruction is to acknowledge that the mind has strayed from the focus on breathing, and to return to that focus.
On this first day of meditation, I was able to focus on breathing occasionally. Perhaps for thirty seconds of the twenty minutes. Thoughts kept coming out to play, like when you shut five children together in a room and tell them it's nap time. Good luck with that. Even if they could use the sleep, they'd rather giggle and goof around. I thought about:
- How the paint job on one of my walls could be better.
- Why I was unhappy with an employee.
- How my dining room linoleum needed another clean.
- How the area of the linoleum nearest the stove is usually dirtiest, perhaps because of small grease spatters over time.
- The texture of the linoleum.
- A new song that I probably will work on later.
- A short film idea that I will probably not work on later unless I decide to abandon songwriting / musical theater production and get into making short films.
- Conversations I am likely to have with my parents when they arrive, and how I might frame things so that they will think am successful and worthy.
- How random, unending, distracting thoughts arising in one's mind (during meditation or really any time) are like having a TV on in the room at all times. I have relatives who do this, and it drives me nuts. To them, the background chatter is normal. Our minds' background chatter is normal to us, but there is value in noticing it, and in being able opt out of getting sucked into the program.
- Writing a blog about this intention to meditate for ninety days, and how people might say "Oh. Good luck with that. You must be spiritually serious."
When I began meditating several years ago, I would try to squeeze the thoughts away. Strain against them. Get mad at myself for having them. Since then, I have heard repeated instructions that thoughts arising are as natural as kids wanting to goof off at nap time. It's what our brains want to do. Expecting that thinking will happen, acknowledging when thinking is going on, and non-judgmentally returning to the focus on breath are helpful.
Twenty minutes seems to be a much more manageable time period so sit for than thirty minutes. I found myself wondering if the time was almost up FAR less often. Perhaps a tenth as many times as for my thirty minute sits. Maybe fifteen times in all.
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