Today was a run-of-the-mill sit. Periods of presence and focus alternating with periods of discursiveness. I find it interesting the fantasies that take me away for the longest periods of time. Most people report sexual fantasies as being the most compelling, followed by food fantasies.
Mine seem to center around career. I imagine my musical becoming successful, with critical accolades pouring in. The wealth of a hit coming my way is a minor detail in this dream. Conspicuously absent form my fantasy of success are images of joyous, entertained and possibly mind-broadened audiences exiting the theater in great smiling droves. In meditation you get to face yourself, without filters.
Knowing what hooks me the most often on the cushion helps me keep aware of my obsessions & sensitive areas & blind spots off the cushion. It's easier to say "Ah... this email makes me angry because it threatens my desire for praise and good reputation." or "Am I prone to trust this guy too much because he's promising me exactly what I desire?"
I suppose it's also a good barometer of where my abundance lies, too. I'm fortunate to have lots of love and sex and good food around me, so my mind doesn't go searching for it obsessively when it travels away from the breath.
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