Sometimes when I meditate, it feels like I'm trying to train myself to do some sort of mental ballet. If I apply sufficient discipline, I will shoehorn my mind into this beautiful, counterintuitive state. My discipline may be harsh or gentle, but it seems like I'm training my mind out of what it naturally wants to do - chase every wild hare of a thought that comes up.
In his book "Turning The Mind Into An Ally" Tibetan Buddhist teacher Sakyom Mipham says that a still, empty peaceful state is the natural state of the mind. When we meditate, we are actually just returning our minds to where they naturally want to be. Thinking of this today was helpful. The brief gaps between thoughts had more of an "Of course." quality to them, less of a "Oh, you've got it - try to hang on!"
I was working on a song for seven hours before sitting down, and I had a crazy earworm going for a lot of this sit. I wondered if an earworm really qualified as a thought, as it was not a verbal concept. Again, wondering if an earworm qualifies as a thought definitely qualifies as a thought. And planning to blog about it later means you're off and running away from where you are.
At this point in the practice, when I'm lucky to have a few seconds here or there without getting carried off by thoughts, the process becomes about persistence. Noticing every time it happens. Returning to the breath every time it happens. Not getting discouraged. Not going crazy. Chuckling and starting fresh. Again and again and again.
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